The Ideal Family

 

My wish for all children is that they grow up in a stable, two-parent home, where mom and dad love each other and the kids go to bed at night feeling happy, safe, and secure.

This might sound like a Norman Rockwell 1950's fantasy. In a society broken by divorce, these types of families are few and far between. I believe that's because our families are under attack. We live in a culture that encourages people to leave marriages when it no longer suits them, and tells single girls they don't need a dad to raise kids. Celebrities make living together cool (cough, Brangelina, cough) and we are told constantly that the "modern family" is whatever you want it to be. Dads and moms are interchangeable. Kids will come out the same, either way.

Well, I don't believe that's true and the evidence is everywhere.

Growing up, my parents didn't have a healthy marriage and it hurt my sister and I deeply. I say this with tears in my eyes, because I love my parents so much and know it's not easy. The kids I work with at Streets Ministries come from much worse. Many don't know their dads, grow up in rough neighborhoods, and have to deal with things no child should ever experience.

The traditional family unit has always been the bedrock of American society. As we continue to loose sight of that, we will suffer for it. The family structure of a married mom, dad and kids is built that way for a reason. It matters.

Growing up in a loving, stable home is the best gift parents can give their kids. Obviously, we live in a imperfect world, where event the best parents can't produce perfect kids, but shouldn't this be ideal we strive for?

My own experience and my deeply held beliefs are the reason I do what I do. My mission to help families honor they love they feel for their children through my art. I believe that when children know they are loved and valued, it makes our world a better place.

.

Advice for Mothers: Learn to Let Go

Raising kids is an awesome responsibility. It's also a great blessing. It's difficult to experience that joy, though, if you're worried about being perfect. Among the moms I’ve talked to, this is the number one concern. They want their kids to feel happy and secure, and in the course of raising them, take on responsibilities they’re not meant to carry.  

My friend and collector, Lauren, has some advice for moms who worry about their performance. “Your kids are going to be who God meant for them to be,” she says. “You cannot force them to be someone or something they're not.” As mom to three young girls, Jane, Nellie, and Molly, Lauren says the sooner you embrace that the happier you and your kids will be. Though she'll be the first to admit it’s easier said than done. Like a lot of moms, she practices taking her own advice.

Since becoming a mom, she's learned to give up control in some areas and be more Type A in others, like in teaching her kids manners. She gets a lot less sleep these days, too.

“If you’re worried you’re not being a good mom, you are probably a great one,” she says. Her advice is to stop comparing yourself to other moms – everyone has their own set of circumstances and pressures. We would all do a lot better if we stopped the “mompetition” and came together to support and encourage each other.

When I asked her what advice she’d give to a new mom, she said she would tell them not to be so hard on themselves. No one is perfect. Moms shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time off to enjoy themselves. Go on date nights with your husband. “It’s important to stay sane if you are going to take care of the family,” she says.

And for the single gals out there, appreciate those hung-over mornings, Doritos, and Laguna Beach marathons.

GREAT advice.

A Heartfelt Mission

 

Thirteen-year-old Jasmine just started her freshman year of high school. Jasmine is bright and friendly. The never-met-a-stranger type. She's quick to assume leadership roles and because she loves to help people, she dreams of one day becoming a lawyer or counselor.

Jasmine lives alone with her mom, and has a distant relationship with her dad. She often wonders why he doesn’t want to spend time with her, despite her efforts to get to know him.

My mom and I have had the privilege of mentoring Jasmine through Streets Ministries.

Thanks to the goodness of God, Streets has become a surrogate family to Jasmine and countless other kids, providing support, encouragement, and help to meet their needs. My prayer for her is first that she will know Jesus as her Lord, but also that she would have the same opportunities for a good life that I have had. I want her to know her life has meaning and that her dreams and aspirations matter.

Jasmine’s story is a on-going reminder of how much children need stable homes.

Families are under attack today. The traditional family unit is being undermined, and as a result families are falling apart. It’s not hard to see the devastating affects this has had on children and society as a whole. Personally, watching my parents split when I was in college was one the hardest things I have ever been through. I know that many people come from similar or worse circumstances, and it breaks my heart.

That’s why is my artistic mission to help families celebrate their relationships by honoring their children. This is a heartfelt mission and I one that I deeply believe in. The way I accomplish this mission –through custom oil and charcoal portraits that celebrate the individuality of a child- is totally unique. Nothing quite honors a child like a portrait.

I believe that families are the bedrock of society and the best place for children to find love, acceptance and security. My job is the help parents express their love for their children and to help children know they are unconditionally valued and accepted.

It's for this reason that I'm partnering with Streets to honor kids like Jasmine through my art. I will complete a series of portraits to donate to the families of select kids and raise awareness of the need in our community to help these children. Because their futures are ours.

Painting with Purpose

 

I've always loved to create. Making art gives me a sense of purpose and I really feel like I'm honoring God when I'm painting. It's kind of like that line from Chariots of Fire, where competitive runner Eric tells his sister, "When I run, I feel God's pleasure."

For years I've carried around this mental image of God as the Master Artist and me as the Little Artist, reflecting his glory by painting his creation. So making art gives my life meaning and significance.

Selling my art, bringing joy to people’s lives by capturing their children, deepens my satisfaction and pleasure in making art. Knowing that I’m serving people in helping them celebrate the relationship they have with their children – it’s a truly beautiful calling.

Some of the moms I work with prayed for years to have children. They’ve prayed, their families have prayed; that’s how bad they wanted to be moms and that’s how much their children mean to them. I was talking with a mom yesterday who said when she had her first son, she knew she loved him unconditionally. She knew she would give her life for him.

The relationship between a parent and a child is the closest picture we have of the way God loves us. That’s why being a parent is such an awesome responsibility. I've heard it eloquently expressed as a call to servanthood. A call to lay down your life.

My job is to help parents express their unconditional love for their children and help children feel valued. If someone commissions art in your honor, it's because you are loved. Through my art, I help parents tell their children they are loved and valued.

Growing up, I didn’t have the best relationship with my mom. I mostly blame myself - those terrible teen years when it's your job to be mean to mom. But also my parents had a difficult marriage and my mom’s relationship with my grandmother was strained.  So all of this affected us.

But as I was journaling and reflecting, it inspired me to write her a note telling her how much I appreciate her and everything she’s done for me.  I told her she is a gift from God to me, and to never doubt that she is a good mother.

It’s a blessing to be reminded of the gift of motherhood daily in my work. And thanks to all the moms out there for the daily laying down your life and for the privilege to paint your greatest treasure- your children.

It Starts in the Home

 

I believe that being a mom is an awesome, profound experience. It's one of the most important jobs in the world. That's why it's become my heartfelt mission to help parents express their unconditional love for their children and help children feel valued through my art.

I’m so inspired by this mission I decided interview a few of my collectors. I wanted to understand the challenges they face raising kids in a society that (mostly) undermines the Biblical view of family and marriage. Also- what are the joys? How has having a child made them experience love differently?

This month I sat down with my friend and collector Ale.  As we watched her two boys Sam and Noah play in the yard, Ale shared with me her experiences and the lessons she’s learned as a mom and wife.

“I’ve become more humble,” she says with a laugh. “I’ve realized that it’s not about me. I have no control over these kids.”

When she had her first son, Noah, Ale experienced love in a radically different way. She loved him immediately - and knew she would give her life for him.

I asked her what she saw as her primary responsibility to her kids. What she said touched me. Above all else, Ale wants her children to know God and have a relationship with him.

Every night, she and her husband Matt go to tuck in the boys. Noah prays for his little brother Sam, sometimes asking God to heal a cut or bruise that was healed weeks ago.

Ale also wants her boys to understand that we don't deserve anything we have in live. It's all a gift from God.

The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller has influenced the way she parents. “I want my children to see my husband and me happy so they feel safe and secure. It’s important that they know we are on the same page. Good communication is key. We both believe in spanking!”

What’s one piece of advice Ale would give to an aspiring wife and mother? “Make sure your relationship with your husband is strong. Don’t undermine each other. Don’t forget about each other.”